• Fake Currator

Damien Hirst is Immortal

Updated: Dec 18, 2018


By: Famo


Andrew Russeth from New York, New York • CC BY-SA 2.0

         In a land full of happily-ever-afters and anal plugs, lies a man, an artist, a genius yet a monster, and a big case of “is this art? Or is this some sort of abuse?” Come on, I know you- we are both thinking of the same person. No I’m not talking about Hannibal Lecter, I am simply talking about the fucking greatest shock artist of them all, Damien Hirst. If you do not know who Damien Hirst is, then maybe you should consider reading a different art magazine, you know, the ones that constantly talk about the same damn artist in every issue that make the oh so glorious and beautiful art world look like a monstrous scam that it never could be.

         As I am writing this, I sit here in a cafe, eating a spinach and artichoke quiche and slowly sipping on some black iced coffee, whilst two old ladies argue about how they are wasting all their money on doctor appointments when they could be using it to upgrade their premium porn accounts to get the videos in HD. But enough about me, we are here to talk about the gruesome, beautiful, and thought provoking works of Damien Hirst.

         Damien Hirst is a man of many mediums. With works ranging from innocent polka dot paintings with acrylics and oils, all the way to sculptures involving ready made objects and the horrible act of killing innocent insects and animals (or perhaps they aren’t so innocent (those assholes)). Now that you know a tad bit more about what he does, you will realize that this guy gets a lot of attention, and that art dealers and museums literally shit their trousers whenever a work of his is made available. I mean, this guy has so much fucking money that he once sold a piece, then bought his own piece back from the buyer years later for over a million fucking dollars, and that’s USD we are talking, so of course in euros that’s a shit ton of fucking cash, you know?

         The first piece I encountered by Hirst is a piece called “Away From The Flock”. It’s a dead sheep that was put into what resembles a huge rectangular fish tank filled with formaldehyde. What the fuck, right?! As soon as I saw this piece by Hirst (which I have not seen in person, and might be a little too scared to, hehe), the first thought that popped up in my mind is, “how the hell is this shit legal?” To be honest, till this day I’m still not sure how his shit is legal but I am going to assume he has enough money to make whatever the fuck he wants legal. Although, if you do look deeper into it, there are a lot of cases of artists getting away with shit that non-artists couldn’t get away with. For instance, I was once arrested for doing graffiti on university property, but when the judge found out I was an art student, she gladly told me it was okay and to get the fuck out of her courtroom. But that subject can be written about in an entirely different article.

         I guess the next question I have, and the main question, is why is Damien Hirst making these pieces? And is it necessary for Hirst to make these violent and gruesome pieces to get his point out to the viewer? My answer to that is that Hirst is trying to talk about life cycles and his comfortability with death itself. What better ways to get the viewer to think about something we don’t normally like to think about than by shoving the fucking life cycle of flies in our faces? A simple scroll through his his Instagram post where he posted an image of “Away From The Flock” and you will see that many are not happy with his work,

with comments such as “You’re the worst artist in the world… You really are” (@felix_belfield) and “SHIT ART! MURDER OF ANIMALS” (@missdel).



But, the fact of the matter is that people are talking. Whether it’s positive talk or negative talk, when you’re an artist, any exposure is good exposure. So yes while it is gruesome and some actions that were taken to create the work are fucked up, I simply would not be sitting here talking about him if it didn’t spark some sort of emotion in me and people wouldn’t be taking efforts to ban his work if it didn’t spark something in them.

        The fact of the matter is that Damien Hirst is now immortalized into not only the art world, but in this world in general. He will forever live on, even after death, just like his lambs and sharks and butterflies live on even after theirs. I would not be surprised if the crazy fucker has some weird shit planned to have his body sunk in an industrialized fish tank filled with formaldehyde so that society can talk about how fucked up it is while the art world critiques the artist as an art piece, and pays millions of untraced money for it.




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